Lists of observations of life in China from a foreigner's point of view are abundant on the Internet. When we first arrived here, we read these lists and thought "huh". We didn't get it. Now, after almost a year here we can laugh at many of the points. They capture some of the details of daily life here and highlight the cultural differences. Besides, they are hilarious! Here are some of our favourites:
1. You have absolutely no sense of traffic rules. (The roads are chaotic. Crossing the street requires that you look out for bicycles, scooters, little motorized vehicles, cars and trucks coming from ANY direction – even diagonally. We’ve developed the strategy to cross with the crowd for safety.)
2. You think singing Karaoke on Friday nights is fun. (One thing we haven’t done yet but everyone does it.)
3. Other foreigners seem foreign to you. (Don and I find ourselves now pointing out foreigners to each other.)
4. You consider McDonalds a treat.
5. You prefer using chopsticks.
6. Chinese fashion starts looking hip. (There are many brave fashion choices.)
7. You go to the local shop in pyjamas. (It’s such a common sight that I want to start doing it.)
8. Pollution, what pollution? (Where else will you see “smoke” in the weather forecast?)
9. You think squat toilets are more sensible. (No novelty left on these. I am ever so excited when I see a Western toilet in public places.)
10. You have run out of snappy comebacks to compliments about your chopstick skills. (Don would be a rich man if he had money for each time he gets complimented.)
11. Someone doesn’t stare at you and you wonder why. (Poor Don gets stared at all the time and there have been countless occasions of “Hello” followed by giggles.)
12. You see three people on a motorcycle and figure there’s room for two more.
13. There are more things strapped to your cycle than you ever put in a car.
14. Firecrackers don’t wake you up. (Hearing them as I write this.)
15. You leave the plastic on all new purchases.
16. Chinese remakes of Western songs sound better than the originals.
17. Metal scaffolding at construction sites seems much more dangerous than bamboo scaffolding.
18. The Lunar Calendar ALWAYS takes precedence. (Students sometimes have to think about their birth date on the Western calendar.)
19. Pizza just doesn’t taste right unless there’s corn on it.
20. 250cc is a REALLY BIG motorcycle. (You think moving from a 125cc to a 150cc makes you more macho.)
21. In the summer, if you are a man, you roll the legs of your pants up to your knees whenever you sit down. And you roll your shirt up to your nipples.
22. You only wear a suit when you dig ditches or do home repairs.
23. You have a purse and you are male.
24. You draw characters on your hand to make yourself understood.
25. You would never think of entering your house without first removing your shoes.
26. You compiled a 3-page list of weird English first names that Chinese people of your acquaintance have chosen for themselves. (e.g. Orcer, Snowflake, Thumb, Baggie, Turtle, ZXY)
27. You use the word “Ayyiieeaaahh” every few sentences to convey surprise, pleasure, pain or anger. (Don has adopted this easily.)
28. You and a friend get on a bus, sit at opposite ends of the bus, and continue your conversation by yelling from one end to the other.
29. You cannot say a number without making the appropriate hand sign. (Lifesavers when you can’t understand how much something is.)
30. You eat at exactly the same time every day, whether you are hungry or not. Then eat again later when you ARE hungry. (Noon = Lunch, 6 p.m. = Dinner)
For a longer list, check this site out:
http://www.beijingmadeeasy.com/beijing-fun/youve-been-in-china-too-long-if
